Building A Better You with Bryan Dodge
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Building A Better You – August 20, 2011On August 31, 2011, In @ Work, By Bryan Dodge
Many times in life, we fall prey to holding on to past regret, sorrow, disappointment, bitterness, and guilt. It doesn’t make us feel good when we ponder these past indiscretions, but we can’t seem to let them go. I discussed this topic in last month’s e- Zine. The key ingredient to living a better life is to ―let it go and learn to laugh sooner. The feedback I received from this statement was about what you would expect. How could anyone let the past go that easily or even begin to laugh when the hurt was so devastating to begin with? The best way for me to answer that question is to inspire you to choose to live your life from this day forward by changing the way you think.
Nothing changes in life until you change. The change starts when you transform from a reactive state to a life of hope for tomorrow. It is easier to hate than to love if you haven’t learned the art of forgiveness. How can anyone move forward if they are stuck in the past? Alexander Pope, in ― An Essay on Criticism writes, “To err is human, to forgive divine.” We all make mistakes. You must understand that not only are you human, but other people are human, too. Be a student of the truth in life. Any religious philosophy that preaches forgiveness also speaks about loving your neighbor. We don’t have to like what they do. The simple truth is those that forgive first live a better life sooner because they can move forward with their dreams. Forgiveness, however, can be a problem for many people simply because they are not clear about what forgiveness really is.
The simple definition of forgiveness is the refusal to hurt the one who hurt you. This ―refusal to hurt‖ can take many forms, depending on the circumstances, and it encompasses everything from the refusal to ―get even with‖ others, to the refusal to prove to others—with arguments, protest, violence, or even self-sabotage—how important it is that you are right and the other person is wrong. Common sense will tell you that focusing your brainpower on living forward is to understand that forgiveness, by itself, is psychologically preferable to holding a grudge. Bitterness works like a mental poison that doesn’t hurt anyone but you. Seeking revenge or wishing harm to another will, at the minimum, deplete your strength and prevent your wounds from healing. In the worst case, the hunger for revenge will make you into a victimizer yourself. Lacking forgiveness, you both will be locked together in living a life of revenge.
It’s really hard to find a better you, when you are focused on revenge. So even though someone hurts you and refuses to apologize, and even if this means that the relationship cannot be repaired, you can still offer forgiveness—for the sake of choosing to live a better life, by choosing to live forward each day of your life and not allowing yesterday’s mistakes to take away tomorrow’s opportunities. Try spending your time on what you can change. This was President Kennedy’s philosophy and I think you would agree he was a smart man. After a recent program, a gentleman came up to me, said that he was not very happy with himself, and asked if I had any recommendations. I told him not to stay that way very long. I reminded him that life is too short not to be happy. That’s common sense thinking, isn’t it? That, my friends, is good old common sense, and some really good critical thinking on your part.
Join me each Saturday from 4:00 to 5:00 pm on WBAP 820 AM and 96.7 FM for my live broadcast radio show which covers topics like these in greater detail. You can also listen to any of my shows by going to www.bryandodge.com and clicking on the Radio tab. I am now completing my 4th year on radio, and the numbers continue to grow beyond all of my expectations. I thank you for listening when you can, and the suggestions that you make help the ―Building A Better You hour grow tremendously. We can make a difference in America, so let’s put for our best foot forward each day. Forgiveness will allow you to do just that.
Living forward in life begins with complete forgiveness.
Bryan J. Dodge
I received an email today, and although I never read the email because I knew it was an advertisement for a product that I was not interested in, the catch line kept coming back to me. It read, “Three Things in Life That, Once Gone, Never Come Back: Time, Words, and Opportunity.” I started meditating and preaching to myself on those words. As I write this article, I think of Bryan Dodge’s teaching that we are all leaders at one level or another. And as a leader, we all must manage these three things well.
I still believe that time management is more of a mindset than a set of rules. If you are not using your time wisely, check your attitude and skills more often than your watch. Time- wasters creep into your life in the form of bad habits as a result of lackadaisical attitudes more often than poor planning. What are the time-wasters that you need to replace with more productive habits? Do you spend too much time on mindless activities because your skills are not up to speed? Once a minute is spent, it is gone forever. You cannot recover time especially the seconds, minutes, and hours that you waste. Manage your time as if it were your most precious asset because it is.
When was the last time you regretted saying something? The general advice here is to choose your words carefully. Try to be enthusiastic and edifying by focusing on the positive aspects of every situation. Once you say the wrong words, they are hard to take back. The other regret is when you should have spoken but you chose to remain silent. I insulted one of my business associates by failing to show my appreciation to him for giving me a referral some time back that generated some valuable business. He recently found out about it and was offended because I never so much as picked up the phone and thanked him for it. Remembering to say thank you and expressing appreciation are a very important part of using words.
One definition of opportunity is “a possibility created due to a favorable combination of circumstances.” Opportunity, whether it is for building a relationship, creating a fortune, or doing something special, is based on a person’s ability to recognize the situation when it is at hand. The word opportunity is not an “action word,” but for it to be of value to you, you must take action. The only synonym I could find for opportunity was “chance.” I found that interesting. Learn to recognize an opportunity when it presents itself so you don’t miss your chance. Once it’s gone, it’s gone. It is unlikely that those combinations of circumstances will appear again.
Frank Massine
Vice President, Dodge Development, Inc.
1. Why do you lack enthusiasm?
2. Why is it important for your emotions to work toward, and not against, the good life?
Genuine enthusiasm isn’t something you put on or take off like a shirt. It is the way you choose to live your life. Are we always enthusiastic about our lives and where we are going? No—to say yes to this question is unrealistic. The key is to know when you have gotten off track for too long. Enough is enough.
During one of my radio shows I looked at the call-in board and saw the name Brian from Colorado Springs. Well, I immediately thought to myself that it could only be one of my best friends. So I answered his call and the first words he said was, “I’m sure many of you who listen to this show may wonder if he’s like this almost all the time. Well, I have known him since he was 9 and I can tell you that the answer is yes!” What he meant was how excited I am about life, the energy level I put into my seminars, and the positive outlook I have for people. It’s not just a show; it’s the way I live my life. The question now is what is the answer for your life? Did my friend say I was like that all the time? No, he said almost all the time. It is what you do almost all the time that defines you. When I meet people, they always say, “Good to see you!” and I reply “Good to be seen, the other option sucks!” I’m not afraid of death, I’m just not in a hurry to exit the here and now, nor am I living my life so that one would mistake me for dead before my time.
My hope for you is that you will almost always live your life enthusiastically. The key is for you to live your life like there is no tomorrow for life is too short not to be happy and too long not to do well. I have witnessed throughout my lifetime, if you’re not doing it your way, then you’re not living the good life. You’re living somebody else’s life. Be careful whom you follow. They might have an agenda that isn’t good for you.
The Good Life Rules!
Bryan J. Dodge