Leading in the Home “His Needs”

His five needs are:

1. Sexual Fulfillment. Men have a strong sex drive, period. The typical wife doesn’t understand her husband’s deep need for sex any more than the typical husband understands his wife’s need for affection. Women need affection and romantic sex. Men just need sex often.

2. Recreational Companionship. He needs her to be his playmate. Spending recreational time with his wife is second only to sex for the typical husband. It is important to find activities that you both enjoy.

3. An Attractive Spouse. He needs a good-looking wife. When she looks good, he feels good. Attractiveness is what you do with what you have. The wife needs to watch her weight, use makeup to her best advantage, get hairstyles he likes, and dress to be attractive to and for your husband.

4. Domestic Support. He needs peace, quiet, and an orderly home. In our culture, with many wives working, this has become a bigger problem, but the need is still important to a man.

5. Admiration. He needs her to be proud of him. Self-esteem usually begins at home. A wife’s admiration inspires and strengths her husband to handle greater responsibilities. Behind every successful man is an admiring wife.

For the married people reading this, which one of these five needs do you feel you are the weakest at? I wrote this article with the intention that you would be able to use this information to make a quick evaluation as to where you might bring some energy home to in order to strength your marriage. All improvement counts and can make a big different.

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Leading in the Home “Her Needs”

Her five needs are:

1. Affection. Women need to be hugged, touched and told that they are appreciated. Outward displays of affection without sexual intent are important to women. That is why they hug children, hug each other, they hug animals, hug relatives and even hug stuffed animals.

2. Conversation. Women need to talk. They want to talk about everything. They want to be listened to and understood. Women perceive this as caring. She feels close to the person she talks to. To her, conversation blends with affections. Women feel united with the person they can easily talk to. Conversation is bonding and fulfilling to her.

3. Honesty and Openness. She needs to trust him totally. Honesty is the best marriage insurance policy. Men need to be honest in their words, their actions and their finances.

4. Financial Support. She needs enough money to live comfortably. It is important to a woman that her man be a good provider. Women need financial security.

5. Family Commitment. She needs him to be a good Father. Fatherhood takes commitment. The best husband is a good father.

What are your thoughts?

Frank Massine

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Leading in the Home

Bryan’s favorite three words are “Bring Energy Home.” Those words are important, especially in today’s busy culture and demanding jobs. Ed Cole, called “The Father of the Christian Men’s Movement,” once said “Marriage can be the closest thing to heaven and to hell that you will ever experience on this earth.” A marriage, like anything else of value, needs to be cared for. I have been married for 41 years and I still read at least one book every year on the subject of “How to have a Happy Marriage.” I periodically attend marriage seminars or marriage enrichment weekends. Right now, I am participating in a group session where we are listening to and discussing a series of DVDs on “What Does the Bible Say About Marriage?”

Of all the books I have read on the subject, there is one that really stands out for me. It was written in 1986 by Dr. Willard F. Harley, Jr. and is now in its 15th printing and has sold over a million copies. The name of the book is “HIS NEEDS HER NEEDS”. Dr. Harley is a clinical psychologist and marriage counselor. After many years of counseling, he has concluded that marriages run into trouble when needs are not being met. The reason I feel this book is so valuable is because it categorizes the needs so clearly. If the husband meets the wife’s needs and the wife meets the husband’s needs, you can be confident of a happy and secure marriage. As briefly as I can, I will examine each of those needs, beginning with her needs … tomorrow!

Until then … The Good Life Rules!

Frank Massine