Personal Growth and Development

As individuals, we have the incredible power to decide that we are, in fact, good enough. Good enough as a friend. Good enough as a spouse. Good enough as a manager, salesperson, entrepreneur. But the majority of us spend copious amounts of time comparing ourselves to other people’s standards, other people’s goals and dreams. Then, it becomes easy to think we aren’t good enough. That kind of thinking will get you into trouble. Let’s start at the beginning. God made us all individuals; no two of us are alike. We might be similar, but not exactly alike. You are unique. Therefore, set your own standards, goals and dreams. This is the beginning of getting beyond good enough. Build a Better You!

Most of us have some bad habits or patterns that need adjusting in order to reach our desired personal best. And, yes, change is part of the improvement to ‘Building a Better You.’ It takes courage to change life habits to which you’ve been accustomed. Maybe you have lost your courage to change. How do you get your swagger back, otherwise known as your confidence or courage? First, start with dissolving one really misunderstood myth in life. This self-limiting belief is the beginning of a ‘lesser you,’ and it affects all of the others: I’m not good enough. This is clearly the ‘bullet’ that is used by others (and accepted by you) to shoot down your purpose in life. This is the basic premise that causes feelings of inferiority and inadequacy. We accept that other people are better than we are just because, at the moment, they are doing better. We feel that they must be worth more than us. Therefore, we must be worth less. This feeling of inadequacy can become planted deep within your mind. Always remember, what is seeded in the mind, will take place in time, which results in selling yourself short in the game of life. You settle for less than you are truly capable of. Rather than fail at a new goal, you don’t even set to achieve it in the first place.

The first step that must be taken to ‘lean forward’ towards the Good Life is to remind yourself that, not only are you good enough, but you have the ability to be excellent in any area that is important to you. It is your ability to have the courage to make the change. For those of you who’ve ever played golf, you can relate to this example. When you first start playing, the game of golf can be humbling! But then, you have that shot. You know; the shot that gives you that peek into your potential. To find a better you, you must find a different way of thinking than ‘I’m not good enough.’ First, go out in life and take some BIG swings, and never stop swinging. Yes, practice makes perfect! If you do that (decide to improve, practice, train, and rehearse), life will reward you with some of those peaks into your true potential that lie within each and every one of us. I mean everyone. It’s like golf. When you stop swinging in life, you take away what is needed to find the courage to accept that ‘you’re not good enough’ is just a myth. It should never find its way back into your personal beliefs ever again. And I mean, never again.

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Warmest wishes to all of you,
Bryan J. Dodge

Picture of the Week

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When You Are Where You Are – Be There!

One morning, John, an ambitious climber of the corporate ladder, was about to leave for the office when he heard his wife yelling for him from the laundry room. Upon entering the laundry room, he saw that his wife was holding a towel over a broken water line, screaming, “Do something!” John ran outside to the water meter and turned the main valve off. He then went back in to look at the problem and saw that the pipe leading to the washing machine had burst. He had a big work load at the office, so he told his wife that she needed to call a plumber. She said no because the plumbing was his responsibility. He insisted that she take care of it and left a very angry wife dealing with a situation that he should have taken care of. As he drove to the office, he felt bad because he knew in his heart he did the wrong thing.

At the office later that morning, one of his business associates called from the country club and said that they needed one more person to complete a foursome and asked if he would join them at the club for an 11:00 tee time. He wanted to please his business buddy, so he left his work and headed for the club, knowing that he would be under pressure for not meeting his deadlines.

That day, John had one of the worst games that he had ever played. Why? Because his heart was back at home with his wife, his mind was back at the office worrying how he was going to get caught up, and his body was on the golf course. This was a case of not having it all together.

In this little story, I used a negative situation to call attention to the positive. To be productive in a situation, it is important to be engaged mentally, emotionally, and physically. So when you are somewhere, be there mind, soul, and body.

Forgiveness

Many times in life, we fall prey to holding on to past regret, sorrow, disappointment, bitterness, and guilt. It doesn’t make us feel good when we ponder these past indiscretions, but we can’t seem to let them go. I discussed this topic in last month’s e- Zine. The key ingredient to living a better life is to ―let it go and learn to laugh sooner. The feedback I received from this statement was about what you would expect. How could anyone let the past go that easily or even begin to laugh when the hurt was so devastating to begin with? The best way for me to answer that question is to inspire you to choose to live your life from this day forward by changing the way you think.

Nothing changes in life until you change. The change starts when you transform from a reactive state to a life of hope for tomorrow. It is easier to hate than to love if you haven’t learned the art of forgiveness. How can anyone move forward if they are stuck in the past? Alexander Pope, in ― An Essay on Criticism writes, “To err is human, to forgive divine.” We all make mistakes. You must understand that not only are you human, but other people are human, too. Be a student of the truth in life. Any religious philosophy that preaches forgiveness also speaks about loving your neighbor. We don’t have to like what they do. The simple truth is those that forgive first live a better life sooner because they can move forward with their dreams. Forgiveness, however, can be a problem for many people simply because they are not clear about what forgiveness really is.

The simple definition of forgiveness is the refusal to hurt the one who hurt you. This ―refusal to hurt‖ can take many forms, depending on the circumstances, and it encompasses everything from the refusal to ―get even with‖ others, to the refusal to prove to others—with arguments, protest, violence, or even self-sabotage—how important it is that you are right and the other person is wrong. Common sense will tell you that focusing your brainpower on living forward is to understand that forgiveness, by itself, is psychologically preferable to holding a grudge. Bitterness works like a mental poison that doesn’t hurt anyone but you. Seeking revenge or wishing harm to another will, at the minimum, deplete your strength and prevent your wounds from healing. In the worst case, the hunger for revenge will make you into a victimizer yourself. Lacking forgiveness, you both will be locked together in living a life of revenge.

It’s really hard to find a better you, when you are focused on revenge. So even though someone hurts you and refuses to apologize, and even if this means that the relationship cannot be repaired, you can still offer forgiveness—for the sake of choosing to live a better life, by choosing to live forward each day of your life and not allowing yesterday’s mistakes to take away tomorrow’s opportunities. Try spending your time on what you can change. This was President Kennedy’s philosophy and I think you would agree he was a smart man. After a recent program, a gentleman came up to me, said that he was not very happy with himself, and asked if I had any recommendations. I told him not to stay that way very long. I reminded him that life is too short not to be happy. That’s common sense thinking, isn’t it? That, my friends, is good old common sense, and some really good critical thinking on your part.

Join me each Saturday from 4:00 to 5:00 pm on WBAP 820 AM and 96.7 FM for my live broadcast radio show which covers topics like these in greater detail. You can also listen to any of my shows by going to www.bryandodge.com and clicking on the Radio tab. I am now completing my 4th year on radio, and the numbers continue to grow beyond all of my expectations. I thank you for listening when you can, and the suggestions that you make help the ―Building A Better You hour grow tremendously. We can make a difference in America, so let’s put for our best foot forward each day. Forgiveness will allow you to do just that.

Living forward in life begins with complete forgiveness.

Bryan J. Dodge

The 7 Diseases of the Attitude* Cont.

“Most of the articles that I write for this monthly e-Zine have to do with personal character traits. I believe leadership is all about character and attitude. This includes things like temperament, personality, disposition, energy, stamina, strength, and most importantly, moral fiber. All of these areas require learning and discipline. The following seven negative character traits are listed to help you recognize them and avoid them.” (Taken from the Aug. 10th blog post)

4. Worry: Comes from fear and is fed by indecision. Worry is wasted mental energy forged in idleness. It causes health problems, social problems, economic problems, and family problems. Most of what we worry about never happens. CURE: Take action.

5. Over-caution: Timid approach to life and definitely not a leadership quality. Brought on by failing to take risks when an opportunity arises. CURE: Focus on the benefit of the opportunity, not on the risk.

6. Pessimism: Gloomiest possible view of a situation that develops into a false mental image that becomes insurmountable and overwhelming. CURE: Focus on the good in every person and situation. Tell yourself, “This is not a problem; I can do it!”

7. Complaining: Whining, crying, griping, and expressing dissatisfaction and resentment. People who engage in constant complaining are not interested in results and tend to pull themselves and others down emotionally and physically. CURE: Develop a cheerful, happy, positive outlook on life.

Sorry, but there is no immunization for these diseases. We all suffer from them at one time or another, and to some degree or another. Like any disease, the important thing is to recognize it in its early stage and apply the cure.

*In one of my personal journals dated November 1990, I found notes that I apparently had taken from a seminar I had attended, but did not write down the name of the instructor, so I cannot give credit. I Googled the title and found an article similar to my notes, but no author was credited. Although the title and general outline were authored by someone else, the comments are mostly mine.

Frank Massine

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