I speak to many executives from a variety of corporations every year and the resounding question that is posed to me is, ― If I am doing everything to be successful why am I still struggling to capture the happiness that comes with success? Many times in life, we fall prey to holding on to past regret, sorrow, disappointments, bitterness, and guilt. It doesn‘t make us feel good when we ponder these past indiscretions, but we can‘t seem to let them go. It hasn‘t helped us see tomorrow any better either, especially when we seem to be focusing on what happened to us yesterday. If only yesterday was the biggest problem.

I believe it‘s more like weeks, months, or even years past that build up too many negative thoughts, weighing people down with these regretful moments. They continue to pop up when you least expect them—times when you should be enjoying life. We push our lives into those negative places and we then find our emotional bucket being poured out. It creates a black hole deep inside us. It can get worse, though. This hole develops teeth that make the fall have a real bite, resulting in scars that can become infected if left unhealed.

To be continued …

The Good Life Rules!

Bryan Dodge

Steps for Moving Forward (1st Step)

Here are some steps that you must take if you want to move forward in a way that will last for a lifetime:

First step forward:
During each of my speaking events so far this year, I have seen many people who have lost hope because they have lost the ability to dream. The greatest gift in life is the ability to dream, but the ability to dream has truly become an idle factory with very dirty windows.

Dreaming alone is good, but to dream with others is great. Sometimes, you can go faster in life by yourself – “I’ll do it; I can do it faster.” But you will go further with others. I have had a lot of disappointments throughout my life, usually when I try to go at it alone. But I am much more successful when I have someone close to remind me of the Good Life Rule to be thankful for what you have and not yearn for impossibilities. When you have that ability to be thankful, you can accomplish so much more.

Again, I can hear you thinking that’s not right. My radio show each week is really helping me be able to hear what you are thinking out there. I’m talking about a different road and a lot of different ideas. I have personally seen what happens sometimes when it comes from the outside in. Sure I run across people all the time that are not satisfied with what they have and they keep getting more in life. Again, I’m talking about that peace in life that money can’t buy. It is your ability to grow from the inside, so when the outside gets better you can enjoy it more.

Come back tomorrow for the 2nd step. Until then have a great day.

The Good Life Rules!
Bryan Dodge

Find the Balance Between Work and Home

There’s no such thing as work-home balance. That might be a strange way to start [an article] called “Find the Balance Between Work and Home,” but there really is no such thing.

I meet with corporate leaders every week, and I’m asked many of the same questions again and again. The CEOs want to know how to help their employees have more “work-home balance” because they think it’s a magic formula for increased productivity.

If you’re happy, are you going to be a better employee? Absolutely. Are you going to be better at being a dad or a mom or a friend? Of course. Does it have anything to do with punching a time clock, or the number of hours you work in a week? No way.

There’s no such thing as an artificially created “balance.” There isn’t some formula you can plug in that says you need to be at work for eight hours, then at home for ten before you can work another eight hours. It’d be nice if the real world was orderly that way, but we all know it isn’t.

In real life, you’re always either heading for a crisis or coming out of one. That’s just as true for a Fortune 500 company as it is for a family. My own family had to deal with health crises that included two blown-out knees and a broken back in a thirty-six-month period.

The balance that comes in The Good Life is more like the kind you use to ride a bike. You’re always pedaling, and if you start to tip a little bit to the left, you lean right to restore your equilibrium. If you overcorrect, then you need to lean a little more left to get back in balance.

If you let your work control you […] and if you keep saying to yourself, “I’m going to make just one more call, even though I said I’d be home before seven,” you’re losing sight of what the Good Life Is. If you committed to a big organizational meeting with your team at work, and you decide to play hooky so you can hang out with your son, you’ve also lost sight of what the Good Life is. Your job is not to work more hours nor is it to break your promises to the people in your professional life so that you can spend every moment at home. Your job is to get done what needs to be done—both at work and at home—with the time you have. It’s not a matter of finding more space on the schedule. It’s a matter of picking the right things to be on the schedule and having them on there at the right times.

This article is an excerpt from my book, “The Good Life Rules,” which was released in January 2009 by McGraw-Hill. I can’t thank you enough for all the positive feedback that we have received from the book and for all the companies that have bought thousands of copies for their employees. If you haven’t read the book yet, go to my online store or any local book store. I promise you will not regret it.

Manager: a person who has control or direction of a business, or of a part, division, or phase of it.
Coach: a person who gives instruction or advice to elevate the performance of an individual or student.

Business men and women are looking for leaders who demonstrate an enthusiastic and genuine belief in others and who strengthens their will to succeed. Look at the two definitions above and think about which of those people is going to get the results needed in business today. Coaching is all about focusing on the talent of the person, and not so much about the production of the job description given when hired. Yes, businesses hire a manager to control the output of sales in order to control the outcome or production of business. However, if the focus is on enhancing the talents of hired staff, I believe the outcome will be greatly improved. Coaches focus on supplying the means to achieve, not on the fear of employees losing their jobs. It is the title of “coach” that helps to express optimism for the future with a firm walk in life.

A coach must keep hope alive from within the person. They must always strengthen their players belief that life’s struggles will produce a more promising future. This evolves into an intimate and supportive relationship, a relationship based not on pure authority, but on mutual participation that results in an inner renewal. The coach sees the good in you, and it is his or her job to bring the good out and place you in a position where your talent matches the task so success is almost a given. It is when you put people in positions of your needs that you are thinking like a manager, not a coach. Your job isn’t to put people in a position of your need; it is to put them in a position where they will succeed.

All great coaches find ways to change up the game plan in order to get tried and true results. Different competitions, changing up strategies, having employee input ideas from the field – all these things help to get your team engaged in the company’s goals and have some friendly competition to bolster energy for production. A manager without a coaching strategy might simply post the goals of the company for the quarter and give no input as to how to achieve those goals. This kind of manager is relying on the talents of the sales staff, but not enhancing or improving upon past performance. Yes, the coaching up manager is going to have to be creative.

Business owners should be looking for that quality in a coach for their team. Coaches, study your competition. There are strategies out there that are proven in the market place and should be followed, just like the skills to make a three point jumper shot at the buzzer. Perfect practice makes perfect. Follow your team on the road to help them to continue following proven principles your company has set. But by all means, have some fun with some friendly competition.

During these uncertain and changing times, those who take the title of Coach lead with a positive, confident, can-do approach to life and business, something that is so needed with the people I see each week. The feedback I receive from investing hundreds of hours each year with people is that they want a leader with a coaching focus, not a managing agenda. These people want to believe that we all are part of a journey, and this is not just a job or a task.

They seem to gravitate toward people with a can–do attitude, not those who always seem to have a reason why something can’t be done. It is when the pressure is on that the title Coach becomes so important. A manager thinks one way and a coach thinks another. A coach says, “I asked you to be on this team because I believe in who you are as a person, not just as a player.” The good coach sees what is good on the inside and brings it out. A manager sees what is on the outside and pushes it in. I hope this month’s e-Zine will find you coaching up for success.

Define what’s good and bad—for you.

Let me say that I’m not some Puritan that thinks you shouldn’t enjoy yourself over a beer or cigar. That’s really, really not the point of what I’m saying here in this article. I want you to define your habits yourself. For me, the habits that control you—the ones you can’t easily get away from—are the bad ones. I could tell you a dozen stories about drug and alcohol addiction, but I believe you already know that these habits will destroy you and everything and everyone around you. It’s the subtle habits that can sneak up on you.

When I got my company up and running at full speed, we decided we wanted to fulfill a long-time dream and move to a house on a lake. We found the perfect spot in Lucas, Texas. I could hook my boat up to the truck and be on the water five minutes after leaving my driveway. But for the first six years we lived in Lucas, I don’t think I got to the lake more than six times total. My office was on a direct line between the airport and the house, and I’d make it habit to stop and check just one more thing at the office when I came home from a trip.

That “one more thing” usually became two or three more things, and I routinely rolled in at seven or eight at night. Working too hard—or too inefficiently—is definitely a bad habit. I finally got the message from my wife, who asked me one night why we even bothered to move to the lake since we never saw it. Afterward having this heart to heart discussion with my wife, I moved my office so that it was in the complete opposite direction of the airport. We saved up some money and bought a new ski boat, and I committed myself to be home in the afternoons when my kids got back from school so we could go skiing. In the summer, we’re on the lake three to four days a week.

To assess your own habits, you’ve got to be honest with yourself. You might have something you’ve been doing in your day-to-day life that was “okay” for a long time because you were younger, stronger, or more focused. How you eat is a great example. Your metabolism changes as you get older, and just because you consider yourself a healthy eater—for a 35-year-old—doesn’t mean you’re going to be a healthy 50-year-old. If you don’t monitor your habits, those sandwiches you eat for lunch when you’re 30 and fit could turn you into a chubby middle-aged person.

By taking care not to let your habits control you, you will do a better job keeping your life in balance and in proportion. It’s not about eliminating all the things you enjoy out of your life and following some grim no-fun plan. I like wasting time as much as anybody. I’ve just figured out a mix of habits that works for me.

Let me use alcohol as an example. I’ve got some serious alcoholism in my family, and I know that “drowning my tears in my beer” is something that would get me into trouble pretty fast. But I don’t believe that making a rule that I won’t ever go to Germany and enjoy a beer at Oktoberfest, or taste a fantastic wine from a friend’s cellar is the solution. I could be a regular drinker and get to the point where I was going to have to take the drastic step of cutting all alcohol from my life—like some of my friends have had to do. Or, I could be honest with myself about my limitations, and set a system in place that would allow me to enjoy myself in moderation. I decided to eliminate hard liquor from my life and restricted my drinking to “non-school” nights—Friday and Saturday. You know sometimes the greatest control of a habit is understanding that you might lose the opportunity to enjoy it if you don’t manage it.

The key to the Good Life is to stay in control of your habits so they don’t control you and force you to do something drastic later. People develop diabetes in their middle-age years partially because they couldn’t control their intake of food. Would you rather eat an extra slice of pie now or stop eating it forever when you’re 55? To me, it’s an easy choice.

But the truth is that the opportunities that make it so easy for us to live in America also make it easy to keep a hold of whatever habits we have. No society in the history of the world has had as much access to food as we do right now. Grocery stores are bursting with every kind of food you could imagine—and some our parents even couldn’t imagine, thanks to food science. And while it’s great that frozen food can remain edible for months and your kids can enjoy green ketchup if that’s what they really want, millions of people in this country are obese because their idea of a meal is something you pick up at a fast food restaurant.

The second part of that equation is the fact that we just don’t need to expend as much energy to live as we used to. We spend the majority of our lives in cars, planes and elevators. A lot of people aren’t even doing something as simple as walking behind a lawn mower anymore.

This might explain what’s happening to many people today, but I don’t think these are valid excuses. Not any legitimate ones, anyway. As I said, The Good Life is about gaining control over your life and habits are one area you can focus on. Do you want to change those habits? Do you wish you could quit habits that waste your time, hurt your health, or otherwise get in the way of The Good Life? Regardless of your motivation, if you want to work on your habits, make sure you read next month’s e-Zine. The main topic will be “Building a Better You by Choosing Your Habits.” I will show you how to make the process less of a struggle for you and how you can help others as well.

Thanks for all your support. I hope you make it a habit to listen to my radio show each Saturday on WBAP 820 AM at 5:00 pm. This is our second season! You can listen to online—just go to www.bryandodge.com and click on the WBAP link to Listen Live. Feel free to call in with your questions or your feedback or if you just want to promote
your business. Thanks for being you.

The Good life Rules – 48 hours at a time!

Bryan J. Dodge